Staying Curious – The Soileau Partners’ Approach to Relational Psychotherapy

December 31, 2024

Story by Jeanie Edgmon

In Kansas City, Missouri, a uniquely compassionate psychotherapy practice is reshaping mental health care. Soileau Partners Psychotherapy, founded by Danielle and Jon Soileau in 2019, offers a modern, boutique approach to mental health care with a focus on psychodynamic counseling, psychanalytic psychotherapy, and relational psychoanalysis — methods that place curiosity at its core.

Danielle Soileau began her journey to psychotherapy after noticing her natural inclination toward empathetic listening, “People seemed comfortable sharing the most intimate moments of their lives with me, and I wanted to use that to serve my community.” During graduate school, Danielle was introduced to Psychoanalytic and Psychodynamic theory, where she instantly felt compelled to learn more, aside from what was offered in her graduate school studies.
Jon Soileau’s introduction to psychotherapy was less direct but equally compelling. A classically trained chef who often tended to the needs of high-profile clients, Jon has always found himself drawn to the complexities of human interaction and the nuances of relationships. Upon evaluating a counseling graduate school program with Danielle, Jon felt led to enroll and almost immediately fell in love with the clinical application of Psychoanalytic and Psychodynamic theory.
Together, they established Soileau Partners Psychotherapy with a vision to integrate compassionate care, refined hospitality, and an in-depth approach to psychodynamic counseling, psychanalytic psychotherapy, and relational psychoanalysis.
At its core, their practice is rooted in relational psychodynamic and traditional psychoanalytic principles and pulls from attachment theory. This approach recognizes that our relationships—past and present, shape how we interact with others, how we feel about ourselves, and how we operate as individuals—and that healing often occurs within the context of a secure and safe therapeutic relationship.

Jon explained that one of their favorite quotes is by Harville Hendrix, “We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.”
“Humans are built for relationships; we crave to be known, heard, and understood. Unfortunately, many times in today’s culture, society does not provide the kind of deep connection we need,” explained Jon.
Danielle explained further, “Life is so fast, and information is so easy to attain that there is no need to reach out to neighbors the way we once did. It has become much harder, in many ways, for people to find a safe place to communicate and discover themselves. That is what makes psychodynamic counseling, psychoanalytic psychotherapy, and relational psychoanalysis so valuable — it is an opportunity to have someone come alongside you in the process of uncovering hurts and barriers and discover strengths and opportunities. It is an incredible journey of staying curious and continual discovery.”

The Importance of Staying Compassionately Curious
“Staying compassionately curious” isn’t just a catchphrase at Soileau Partners—it’s a guiding principle. The Soileaus encourage their clients to cultivate curiosity about themselves, their past, their present, and how these elements interplay in their daily lives. This curiosity extends to the therapists themselves, who remain open and inquisitive about their clients’ experiences.
Why is staying curious so valuable? The couple shared that staying curious keeps your mind actively observing and staying attuned to the client versus passively imposing one’s own bias and assumptions. The brain is like a muscle that becomes stronger with exercise. Curiosity helps open the door to creative thinking and attunement and removes “always” and “never” from the thinking process. It allows us to ask the hard questions about ourselves and find alternative, more efficient ways to accomplish our goals. Ultimately, staying curious about ourselves, others, and our world leads to continual growth and learning, which drives positive personal and professional outcomes.
“Compassionate Curiosity is the foundation of therapeutic discovery. It can lead you down many unexpected paths to beautiful destinations,” Danielle continued. “It’s an invitation to dig deeper and discover the profound connections between our past, our present, and our potential.”

“Compassionate Curiosity is the foundation of therapeutic discovery. It can lead you down many unexpected paths to beautiful destinations.”

Gaining Ground in Our Professional Lives
The practice’s approach has been shown to be of great benefit to professionals seeking to enhance leadership skills, interpersonal relationships, and confidence, helping to strengthen comfort levels for refining their craft. By exploring their own psyche through the lens of psychodynamic counseling, psychoanalytic psychotherapy, or relational psychoanalysis, clients can develop greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, life balance, and communication skills.
“I think Nancy McWilliams said it best,” says Danielle, “Psychoanalytic experience goes beyond helping patients to change problematic behaviors and mental states and try to help them accept themselves with their limitations to improve overall resiliency, sense of agency, tolerance of a wide

range of thoughts and affects, self-continuity, realistic self-esteem, capacity for intimacy, moral sensibilities, and awareness of others having separate subjectivities.”
The Soileaus’ approach is grounded in psychodynamic, psychoanalytic, and attachment-based theories. They believe in the power of the therapeutic relationship to facilitate change and growth. Through this relationship, clients can explore patterns of interaction, identify personal and relational conflicts, and work through challenges that may be affecting their lives.
“Curiosity becomes a powerful tool for change in this context. By remaining curious about their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, clients can break free from rigid patterns of thinking and behaving. They learn to approach challenges with an open mind, fostering creativity and adaptability—highly valued qualities in any professional setting,” added Jon.
The Soileaus approach encourages clients to be curious about the interplay between past and present. How do early experiences shape current relationships? How do past struggles or traumas influence present-day reactions? By exploring these connections, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and others, leading to more fulfilling personal and professional relationships.
For professionals grappling with work-related stress, burnout, or interpersonal conflicts, Soileau Partners offers a unique perspective. Their approach provides a space to explore how work dynamics might be influenced by personal history and relational patterns. By gaining insight into these connections, individuals can develop more effective strategies for managing workplace challenges.
Clients often report improved communication skills, enhanced emotional regulation, more confidence in the midst of struggles or conflicts, and a greater capacity for empathy. These skills are invaluable in personal and professional contexts, enabling individuals to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics more easily and effectively.
One of the key aspects of Soileau Partners’ practice is its emphasis on creating a safe, compassionate, and non-judgmental space for clients.
“We all have our belief systems, but each of our clinicians agrees that being intentionally self-aware and attuned to our own transference and counter-transference helps us as clinicians to provide a neutral environment and create a safe, welcoming space. This environment allows individuals to explore vulnerable aspects of themselves without fear of being shamed, criticized, or rejected. For many (personally or professionally), this can be a rare and valuable opportunity to let down their guard and engage in genuine self-reflection.” Shared Jon.
“Senior-level executives, artists, professional entertainers, and athletes find that there are many work-related stressors that they can’t work out or disclose to colleagues, and bringing those stressors or pressures home can damage relationships or other parts of their lives. The environment we offer provides a space and a way to work through problems and challenges, develop new ways to approach things differently, and enhance relationships in every aspect.”

“Human beings manifest themselves not in the same identical performance; the performance varies according to the situation, the audience, and the other performers. A personality is not something one has but something one does. Consistent patterns develop, but the patterning does not reflect something “inside.” Rather, the patterns reflect learned modes of dealing with situations and are, therefore, always in some sense responsive to and shaped by the situations themselves.”-Stephen A. Mitchell

The Soileaus also recognize the importance of tailoring their approach to each individual client. While psychodynamic counseling, psychoanalytic psychotherapy, and relational psychoanalysis form the foundation of their practice, they and their team of board-certified licensed counselors draw from a wide range of therapeutic modalities to meet the unique needs of each person they work with. This flexibility allows them to address a wide array of concerns, from anxiety and depression to relationship issues and career challenges.
For many clients, the experience of therapy is transformative, but also part of a commitment to betterment.
“Many individuals come to overcome a particular issue but end up wanting to continue exploring and refining in different ways out of a desire for self-improvement, “Jon explained. These changes might include addressing complex patterns in their lives, learning how to enjoy more satisfying relationships, or discovering a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Enjoying the Journey
Many of us remember a time when relationships were formed and maintained face-to-face, from playing outside until the streetlights came on, to regular times with friends and neighbors. Today, we prioritize quick fixes, immediate answers, and YouTube-level solutions, while unknowingly starving our need for a deeper connection.
What makes this work so important for Jon, Danielle, and their team is that it values depth, complexity, and the transformative power of relationships. Their work reminds us that staying curious—about ourselves, others, and the world around us—is not just a therapeutic technique but a powerful way of living.
As we look to the future, the work of practitioners like the Soileaus become increasingly vital. In a world often characterized by disconnection and superficiality, the Soileau’s approach offers a path to compassionate understanding and deeper relationships.